Till Death do we Part
by Zintfall
Summary: A super sad angsty one-shot in Jamie's pov, wanting to say so much to his brother before death takes him away forever. So much things he had to tell Scott, but none of that came out.


**I don't know about you but I cried when I wrote this and I'm sorry for having written such a emotional fanfic please I'm sorry but my heart is breaking right now I think I might die from overdose of this angst. And disclaimer yes this is a fanfiction of po5 obviously I didn't write po5. Thank you TheSixthGatekeeper for your support and encouragement without you I wouldn't even have written this and have my heart ripped off the left of my chest I think it's empty now gOd.**

**If you read and review this, it will mean a lot to some little writer like me thank you And try to enjoy...**

**Till Death do we part**

You are my brother, my twin brother. And from the minute we were born, I don't think we had ever felt genuine love and affection given by others. As orphan kids, I don't think we knew what it was that we missed. I don't think we identified the aching we constantly felt as sadness and longing. But I'm glad that at least we've got each other. The world is against us, everything is falling apart and no one wants us here. But at least we've got each other.

_At least we've got each other._

How many times have I whispered that? My lips moving ever so slightly, a little chant that might take away my mind so I don't have to see the cruelty in front of me. Scott, I live in this world where all I've ever felt was fear, pain and waves of sadness crashing into my storm of emotions. Of pathetic self-pity and occasional hatred. But these emotions die off eventually and become numb emptiness. The best way I deal with it is to not think or acknowledge it, to resign myself and live with it. I would look up at you, and just seeing you there, I am very grateful. I will keep you in my line of sight, as your very presence comforts my hesitance. Because I am not alone, and my heart beats just like yours.

_Scott!_

We've never felt true happiness, we've never felt how it was liked to be loved and cuddled by caring mothers. We just stood next to each other, our chest cold and sour, and it is so hard to smile.

I was so lost without you. When you took the dart and fell, when my own twin brother was injured, I left you. And even now I am torn. If the scene played in front of me again, would I be a coward? Or would I be a fool? I don't know, Scott. Please tell me.

Those days I spent alone in the strange unfamiliar world, the evil darkness glaring into my eyes. I was acutely aware of all the terrors within this cruel reality, how it was so much worse than I thought it was. And for the first time ever, you were not there.

At times my heart would sink into the sticky murky terror that dragged me down, my heart palpitates and panic rises up my throat. I would instinctively reach my hand out, wanting to grab your elbow and whimper. We would not have hugged, we weren't physically attached, but psychologically. It was just to hear your reassuring voice telling me it's ok. But all I groped was the air, because you were not there to comfort me at all. Then sometimes, I would softly say your name as a final attempt. It works, only seldomly.

Because we had only each other, our bonds were strong and unbreakable. When we were torn apart from each other, our very being of mind and soul was ripped. You are half of me and I am half of you. Every night I would drench in nightmares and wake up gasping your name. Every time I would imagine your presence beside me, calming me down and telling me that everything would be alright. I would fall back into sleep with an aching pain. Trying to pretend my lie was the truth. And my heart will be heavy with waves of sadness crushing in. But I was glad of the pain, at least there was hope. I would prefer the pain of our damaged bond twenty times over,

Than see you, and not recognize you.

_Scott please!_

That time when I took your hand in mine, you flinched. The tiny flicker of movement felt like a stab. I had envisioned our meeting so many times, I was so eager to see you. To have your presence close to mine, to know you are alright. But you aren't. I lost your soul.

_Scott, please don't go! No!_

The truth pushed me into an empty dark hole. I had been selfishly thinking all about myself, what was to happen to me when you are gone, I am scared and I am lonely. You stood before me, shoulders slouching, eyes empty, mouth contorted into a grimace. If I try to reach you, you cry and resist me. Torn, damaged and broken. I could not put you back right, I did not understand fully what happened to you. I knew you were tortured, I saw scars that jolted my heart. But there was no way I could ever comprehend the true blow of the events, no way I could ever feel how you have felt. The emotions and pain so strong it hammered an inaudible fear that scared you forever.

I could only try to help, I could only swallow back the desperation when I see you tremble and cower from my hesitant hands. When I see your gaping wounds and hear your blood-curling screams, I could only try not to break down in front of you and drown the urge to give up. I had to be strong, but I am not.

_Please, stay with me!_

Nothing is ever right, whichever route we take, whichever turns we make, even if we try to walk back the way we came, we would always end up stumbling into the spirals of despair. And if I part my lips and whisper to myself, at least we've got each other, I know I am lying to myself. The damage was there and nothing could undo it. Are you leaving me forever?

But I am fighting, Scott. Remember when we young, you told me in a fit of brotherly passion to never succumb to the bullies and fight for whatever it takes. You told me you will be there to help me, and we will watch each other's backs. It was the first and the last time you said something like that, and I will bring it to my grave. So now, when you are weak, please take a rest for I will fight for you. Just hold on to me, hold on to the wavering thin line of hope and believe in me. Don't let go, please!

_Please don't die..._

Jamie stumbled through the door and tripped, sinking deep into thick mushy snow that chilled his bones. The cold felt like sharp icicles jabbing him and he clambered his way upright again quickly. Amidst this mass of shouts and cries, with everyone running and scarlet dotting the grey dirty snow, he stared at the limp body splayed across. Beside him, lay his twin brother that he had been trying so hard to find.

He gasped and the cold icey air choked him like ice cubes. Jamie rushed forward and skidded beside Scott, gathering his body up and cradling him. Scott did not look alright, Jamie could feel his brother's hands as cold as the snow, his eyes were parted slightly and they slowly turned towards Jamie, as though it took all the energy for Scott to focus. He parted his lips and tried to move them, but it sent a spasm of pain through him and he coughed violently. Blood slid down his chin no me he shuddered.

"_Jamie_..."

"Yes? Scott, I'm here! It's going to be alright now, everything will be fine if we just stick together. We've got each other yeah? Yeah?"

Scott did not reply, he could barely move. Although Jamie refuse to believe it, refuse to even think about it, he knew. Scott was going to die. With his hands trembling with fear and the attacking cold, he stroke the hair away from his brother's forehead. Tears left him and he sobbed uncontrollably.

"Scott! No please! Please don't... Please no!"

Precious moments ticked away as Jamie continued to deny the truth. Jamie had no control over anything, the sadness exploded and he was panicking. He did not want to lose Scott, he could not let go. Please!

Jamie whimpered and clutched Scott even more tightly, he could barely breathe and he pressed his forehead against Scott's. So much things to say to him, so much things that he had to say to Scott! Yet nothing came to his mind, nothing came to his mouth. Jamie watched Scott die in his arms, wordless but screaming in agony.

"Stay with me Scott! Please... I..."

Scott opened his mouth and softly uttered something, before everything stopped, and he lay there.

Jamie hugged his brothers, shivering and shivering and shivering. His tears were frozen on his cheeks and his brother was safely in his arms. Dead.

"I'm sorry too, Scott... I'm sorry... Please don't die..."

He cried into the white abyss.


End file.
